Fear and Love

Exciting news: my blog got over 230 page views last month! That’s crazy guys. I know some of you ‘seasoned’ bloggers may smirk at that number, but I didn’t expect many people to follow me, let alone to a see a page view number in the triple digits! And after just three posts 🙂
So this week I decided I would steer the topic in the direction of me. I’m not sure who is reading my blog, but no doubt some have little to know idea as to who I am. So today I will attempt to reveal part of what makes me, me.
In an effort to maintain some sort of structure, I’ll share six tid bits with you all today. Three things I fear, and three things I love. Here we go!
Fears:    *cue “Jaws” music*
1. I am afraid of people following me up the stairs. There are certain people I will go to extremes with in order to be the last one up, and others that do not bother me as much; however when one of my best friends or family members is behind me on the stairs, I tend to walk very fast and turn a little sideways while squealing like a little girl. “Don’t touch me!”
2. I am afraid of not having control. This one is huge. It affects me in every way, from how I interact with people, to how I organize every aspect of my life…down to where the sticky side of the Post It goes in my daily planner. This actually feeds many of my other fears, like letting someone cut my hair, staying away from dark places, etc. Lack of control over any circumstance has the potential to make me lose it in about 0.2 seconds.
3. I am afraid of getting old. I LOVE old people, but getting that old scares me! You get all wrinkly and slow and your whole body just hurts all the time and your eyesight sucks and you say weird things and you have to be on a lot of medicine and you have to wear diapers! I mean what sounds good about that?!
Whew, okay let’s talk about LOVE.
1. The first thing I want to share that I love is (don’t judge me), my cat Charlie. I am in no way saying I love him the most, or more than anything. This is simply a list of three things I love to some degree, in no order of importance. I love my cat. I am that person who will pull out my phone and show you endless pictures and videos. I can’t help it. I start talking about him and it just comes out like word vomit. He’s adorable!
I have encountered “the look” from people thinking, “wow she is obsessed”. Not only is he cute, but he is my therapy cat the an extent. I’ve fought severe anxiety and depression for a few years now, and it’s amazing what a furry friend can do for your mental health. I look forward to him running to me when I get home every day, and that has lifted my spirits tremendously more than a few times a week.
2. Another thing I love: CANDY. Oh my oh my oh my. I’m gonna have dentures before I’m 30. Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Beans, Almond Joy, Pay Day! I eat candy way too much, and I have no intention of stopping. Someone once told me I should give up candy for lent (which I don’t participate in…it’s stupid in my opinion) and I almost choked on my lemon drop.
My mom used to have a ‘3 pieces a day’ rule, except for when we had a party at school, in that case we could eat what we brought home. I was born a criminal mastermind, so it was only a matter of time before I figured out a way around this technicality. I filled a baggie with a handful of my favorite candies from the candy drawer, and told mom there was a party at school! I could eat all the candy in my bag! Wrong. Mom is psychic. Or she recognized all the candy. Either way, it was bad news for me. No candy for a week and a spanking.
The trauma of that day did not stop my love for all things sweet.
3. I love to read. I think it’s probably bad how much I love to read. If I get into a good book, or even worse, a series, suddenly nothing else is important. Not homework, not food, not sleep. When I’m not reading the book, I’m thinking about the book. I’ve been told I get very quiet when I’m in the middle of a book. I suppose that means I am more interested in the literary goings on than my actual life!
I realize I wrote almost double for the things I love, because I LOVE them! I do hope this was entertaining, it was certainly fun to write, and that maybe you have some sort of idea who I am. Quite opposite of ordinary.
Peace and love, Leah