…of Charlie! Haha! I got you to click on the link out of curiosity and now I’m going to talk about my cat! Suckers!
Okay, please don’t leave me I’ll make this post as entertaining as possible for you cat haters, I promise.
Stretchhhh. Ahh, yet another day in captivity. I suppose it is time to snuggle with Mom. She is my only solace in this Prison. We spend our days plotting escape, but try to live as normally as possible despite the circumstances.
I curl up by her face and neck, my favorite spot, all while purring as loud as I can so she will wake up and scratch my head. She squirms around a lot, I can only assume to purposely annoy me. Peasant.
Eventually she leaves me and it is now time to go into the bathroom, sit on the Glass Square Thing and stare at her while she sits on the Big Water Bowl.
Mom then starts foaming at the mouth (this used to concern me, until I discovered she must be immune to rabies) and I lick the Magic Water Pipe to tell her I am thirsty. I never get to drink out of the Magic Water Pipe for very long because I guess the foaming gets to be too much and she moves me out of the way to spit it out. Gross.
After that, I follow her to the closet and she chooses some Coverings. I do not understand this concept.
Finally, Mom picks up some stuff, puts my Jingle Necklace on, and carries me up the stairs. She always says, “Goodbye Little Boy, have a good day.” I do not understand this either.
Mom is gone all day. Time to sleep in my Favorite Chair.
And a Crinkly Blanket if I can find one.
And on my Blue Dot.
Also stare out the Invisi-Wall.
And drink out of the Big Water Bowl.
I hear a sound that wakes me up from my fourteenth nap, how rude. Someone opens the Swinging Wall and I hear, “Little Boooy!”
Mom is home. Mom is home. Momishome!Momishome!Momishome!
Mom holds me on her shoulder and I rub on her head and face and neck so she knows I missed her while she was in The Great Outdoors and that I would appreciate more Food and clean Water (bonus points for Water out of the Magic Water Pipe). I purr to tell her I want a Treat, but she does not understand my Language. I grow increasingly frustrated with every passing day.
The rest of the evening we play with my Special Toys, snuggle and watch The Picture Box.
I sit with mom in her Favorite Chair while she scribbles down some things on some papers and sighs a lot. I do not understand this. Sometimes she turns on the Paper Machine for me and I get to attack the papers as they come out.
When it gets very dark in The Great Outdoors, Mom says, “Okay Little Boy, let’s go to bed.” I follow Mom downstairs to Our Room and she uses the Mini Picture Box to summon Dad and we talk to him for awhile.
Then we snuggle to sleep on the Giant Rectangle Pillow. It has been an average day.